Bells Beach delivered pure chaos to kick off the year and left many of us feeling the way Crosby Colapinto did after losing to Marco Mignot—taking it out with a few power jabs to the deck of his board.
The Australian Army vanished.
The Brazilian Storm thrived.
The first all-goofy-footed final in 33 years.
And a 34-year-old grit merchant named Miguel Pupo casually stole the whole show from Medina—after Dora dropped a 9.50 buzzer-beater in the semis… just to lose the final anyway.
Brutal. But hats off to Miggie.
Welcome to the GLOT season, fantasy degens. Twelve stops, 49 managers, and one $25 buy-in standing between you and immortal glory—or at least a few bucks to get you out of whatever jam you’re in.
After Round 1 at Bells, the race is on, and some bloke from the Outer Banks is already playing with house money.
Enjoy the yellow jersey while it’s still warm, STELLATO (591.27). Zeeback and Surfival League are breathing down your neck at 550.99 and 527.63 respectively, so don’t get too comfortable.
Now let’s talk about the bottom of the barrel.
dsTR0Yrs is sitting at a catastrophic 293.04 points—getting totally hosed by Ethan Ewing and Caroline Marks. Tbekr (312.01) and Sticks (312.79) are barely above the waterline themselves.
There are 11 events left. Panic is optional… but understandable.
On the women’s side, Gabriela Bryan ran through the field like a streaker at the Super Bowl—only slowing down long enough to snatch the yellow jersey from Molly. She’s also the defending champ at the next stop.
Speaking of which—Margaret River is up April 16, and the ocean there does not care about your feelings.
See you on the other side.
And as always, good luck out there.